I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
