Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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