He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
