Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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