put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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