she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
