For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How external is "for external use only"?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
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I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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