Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
