dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
