He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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