what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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