he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize