Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
