I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
