I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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