Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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