remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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