I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
