i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
