I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
