I cockslap morals
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
