She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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