those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
