Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I need moral support for this bender
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize