she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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