I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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