Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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