I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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