I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am mentally ready for anal.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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