Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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