sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You smell like stripper and shame
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
