he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
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Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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