I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
