he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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