every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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