Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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