So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
