I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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