Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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