If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize