Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
