I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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