My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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