Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
