Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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