sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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