Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
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Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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