it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
