I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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