when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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