What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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