i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
