Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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