He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Randomize
