If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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