just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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