...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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