Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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