Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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