Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
