I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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